Hurt
by QueenThursday
Summary: Songfic Will POV, Suicide. . . it's all gone and theres nothing left to live for.


A/N: HI!!!!!!!!!!! lalalalalalalalala..... So i'm not new and this is not my first story i'm also known as Goddess of the Imaginary Light. But They were mean so i can use that one right now, so i made this one. Now lets talk about the story, it's an angstyish piece, also it a song-fic using the song hurt done by Johnny Cash (really it's a NIN story but i'm doing the Cash remake). It's writen in Wills POV. Oh and might i mention that }backwards squiggly french thingy{ means memories.  
  
HURT.  
  
'I hurt myself today  
  
To see if I still feel  
  
I focus on the pain  
  
The only thing that's real.'  
  
OH God, their gone, everyone i ever cared about is gone, i'm alone and i can't feel my body any more. So i grab a dagger, run it along my forearm and press down. blood seeps from the cut and pain shoots through my arm but that's what i want. I've been numb for so long now, for a week i lay in a bed in my step-fathers mansion. I cried but i felt no tears on my face, i could feel nothing. I was slowly dyeing, fading away. So this morning i decided to put an end to this slow torture, so i left the room that Governor Swan had provided for me to stay in till the Shop i lived in with Elizabeth. That was before........ before the fire that killed both her and Jack. As i leave the mansion i ran in to the Governor and the Commodore. "Will, it's good to see you...... out." Norrington said trying to sound positive. I nod weakly and start to walk out again, but Governor Swan stops me "Will, my boy, you need to eat." he said. "i'm not hungry" i mumbled. "Will you haven't eaten in three day. We're worry about you." Norrington persisted. "I'm fine!" I growled and left the house. I walked down the street the only thoughts on my mind were where i was going.  
  
'The needle tears a hole  
  
The old familiar sting  
  
Try to kill it all away  
  
But I remember everything'  
  
When i get there, the burnt ruins of the Blacksmiths, i scan my eyes over broken skeleton of the building i'd lived in since i came to Port Royal. It had also been the place were Elizabeth and Jack died. As i step through the blackened door frame, memories flood my mind, memories of that night }"'Ello you two, long time no see." jack had said standing in the door way of the smithy. "Hello, Jack" Elizabeth said putting an end to the conversation "Jack, it's good to see again, it's been so long." i said embracing my old friend. After we broke apart i stepped back and grabbed my wife's hand. "So what have ya two been up ta?" Jack asked "Well, Jack, you many not believe it but-" "I'm Pregnant!" Elizabeth cut in. "Oh, Congrats." Jack said but i ignored him."Elizabeth, you said i could tell him" i said in a mock whine. "well you were taking to long." "Hello, did ya hear me, i said 'Congrats.'" After that we move to the back-room where we could all sit, we talked for hours till the Fire broken out. We tried to get out but the flames got Jack before he could get out of the room, and the smoke got to Elizabeth when we were almost out of the building. I remember what she looked like when she died, she had collapsed on the floor gasping for air, she looked me in the eyes and gasped out the word 'run' then she gagged and her breathing stopped. so i did what so said and ran out the door as fast as i could. I keep ran till my legs gave way and i fell to the ground, it was then that i realized it had started raining. I rolled onto my back letting my tears mix with the rain.{ i picked through the ashes, i knew they hadn't taken everything out yet and hoped that there would be a dagger or something sharp left.  
  
'What have I become?  
  
My sweetest friend  
  
Everyone I know  
  
Goes away in the end  
  
And you could have it all  
  
My empire of dirt  
  
I will let you down  
  
I will make you hurt'  
  
while i search the rubble, a new wave of memories hit me. This time they're not as tragic, they're of Elizabeth, of her smile, her eyes, her voice, the way she would look at me before we kissed. Elizabeth, why did you love me? I had nothing to give you, and yet you would hold on to me like i was life itself, all i had to give you was......was my empire of dirt, and i would have given it to you if you asked it of me. But now your dead, and it's my fault. I made you hurt!  
  
'I wear this crown of thorns  
  
Upon my liar's chair  
  
Full of broken thoughts  
  
I cannot repair'  
  
I was jerked out of my thought when i found a small dagger. I picked it up and wiped it off then pocketed it. i headed back to the mansion, when i got back it was nearing sunset, and the Governor Swan and the Commodore were still there, but at least they were in the sitting-room so they won't bother me. Or so i thought. "M'lord, the Governor wishes to see you in the sitting-room" the butler announced. "great" i mumble sarcastically under my breath, but i nod and follow him to the sitting-room. "Will, your finally back, my boy." the Governor greeted me with a half-hearted smile. "Where have you been all day." asked Norrington leaving out all formality's. "I've been out, ok. Is there some actual reason why you wished to see me?" i replied trying to finish this idle conversation as quick as possible. "Yes, William. The Governor and i are concerned about your emotional well being," the Commodore started "Why should you be worried about me, i'm fine." i interrupted. "Will, You haven't eaten in a week, you've stayed lock up in your room you wouldn't talk to anyone. Will, i've arranged for you to speak with a therapist tomorrow at noon, Will, please go see her she could help you" the Governor said. "Fine, can i go now." i said, the Governor nodded and i left.  
  
'Beneath the stains of time  
  
The feeling disappears  
  
You are someone else  
  
I am still right here'  
  
i step in to the room and locked the door, "What the hell were they thinking, I need help! Ha, what i need is to die, that all." Then the meaning of my words hit me and i sat down on the bed. "Maybe i do need help." i mumbled as i eyed the dagger in my hand. I remember after this first happened, after they died. At first i was angry at them for dying, then the feeling seemed to fade almost disappear, and i felt angry about that, well it was more i was angry at myself and depressed about them dying. Now my memories of them are dying and their becoming people i don't know. Their so far away and I am still right here. But not for long.  
  
'What have I become?  
  
My sweetest friend  
  
Everyone I know  
  
Goes away in the end  
  
And you could have it all  
  
My empire of dirt  
  
I will let you down  
  
I will make you hurt'  
  
as i sit on the bed my thought stray to my fathers best friend, my best friend, Jack. He had so much to give to me and i had nothing in return. He had the world at his doorstep and it was open for me when even i choose to take it, but i never did i never felt the need to. Now i wish i could, i wish i could just leave. But where would i live the sea hold Jack,s spirit and the land holds Elizabeth. I can't go anywhere, all i have left is death.  
  
'If I could start again  
  
A million miles away  
  
I would keep myself  
  
I would find a way'  
  
I all most wish i could start again, but soon i'll be a million miles from here. I'll see them Jack, Elizabeth, my mother, i'll meet my father. I'll be happy and i won't loss them or myself. 


End file.
